Tag: realization

Posted on in Quoting Carma

Forgive and Forget- a concept that has no meaning if you’ve not tried Acceptance!

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You often stumble upon the phrase, ‘Forgive and Forget’. But in all honesty, should you? This phrase, commonly used, has utmost importance in a person’s life but is very often told to you by a third person rather than the offender.

Someone who is concerned about you would ask you to forgive another for your own mental peace and not literally go out there and declare it. Sometimes, you might receive an apology to sustain previous bonds. But is it really possible?

I believe that unless and until you don’t consider the concept of acceptance, you can never be at peace with anything. Acceptance of the situation, acceptance in the fact that what you thought should happen, didn’t. Acceptance in being present in the moment and not in what the outcome of the situation might be. Acceptance in the fact that there’s no other side or psychology behind what was placed before your eyes.

Once you accept the situation you’ve been put into and the people in it, there’s barely any room meant for hate, revenge or any kind of negative animosity. There is nothing more empowering in gaining power over your actions and moving ahead in life with or without the presence of toxicity. This ideally helps you to live your life other than trying to artificially forgive and delete your memory- something that you can never do.

When you forgive and forget, you place a lot on the back burner, struggling to move ahead. But when you accept, you can then take control over the situation and your actions instead of negatively contemplating if the offense was even forgivable in the first place.

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Posted on in Emotions Speak

How do you talk to someone about your depressive episode?

Many a times you go through a depressive episode wherein you find yourself to be sad or upset about a situation for a prolonged period of time. It might affect your overall health, cause immense stress and altered behaviour patterns. So, what should you do in such situations? Should you talk to anyone about it?

The answer is, NO.

Yes, that’s right. Do not talk to just about anyone regarding your depressive episode. Do you really think that another human being, unqualified and going through the similar emotions or situations as you will be able to give you the perfect advice?

So what should you do?

  1. Consult a therapist/expert for your condition.

This is of prime importance! Experts are paid to listen to you, no matter how much you rant and go round the bush. They will not only listen to you but also make you realize what’s the right path and how you could change your negative patterns. The process is slow and gradual which touches the root cause of the problem and awakens something inside of you. Once you reach that point, you will realize that you are the ideal solution to your own problems.

2. Speak to your friends.

Talk to your friends about everything in life EXCEPT about your depression. If you do talk about your depressive episode, chances are they might absorb some of your negativity too and it might turn toxic instead of understanding. Divert your conversations to things you both like and engage in fun, outdoor activities. Sometimes, in the midst of nature, you might actually find your peace and home; a good relief from the weight you carry inside of you.

3. Pen down what you really think the problem is.

Most of the time you tend to get over dramatic about situations but when you actually write it down, you tend to rationalize the situation and eventually realize that it was a huge waste of time when you actually have so much more to do. So how do you find out about the things you need to do?

4. Always make a plan for the day and stick to it.

Have a plan every single day about when to exercise, when to watch a movie, when to meet a friend, when to have a night out, which book to read and what dish to cook on a Thursday night while you crave for the weekend to commence.

5. Exercise!

I cannot stress this enough but the main reason why your mind is occupied with depressive thoughts is because, you let it. Come out of this with meditative exercises. Go for a run, take that dance workout class and eat healthy at all costs. Clear your mind because that’s precisely where the toxicity lies.

And lastly,

6. Keep this phase of yours private.

Refrain from telling anybody about this depressive episode except a therapist. Chances are they will absorb it for the moment but not respect it at some point. They might start sharing similar experiences which might not help you get out of the web that your mind has created or they might simply use it against you, poke fun or talk about it and make a mess of your privacy other than respecting it.

Keep this phase of yours private. If you really want to talk about it then talk about it as an accepted part of your story. Narrate your story with pride once you have overcome the hardships. In that, lies strength and power over your situation, adding a beautiful touch of inspiration for those facing the same issues.

That’s when you realize that it was a much-needed part of your story. There is something so charming about how beautifully you accept reality!

Even after you have overcome your small battles, don’t blurt out advice to those struggling because they are probably in the early stages that you were in right at the start. And please, steer clear from phrases like, “Been there, done that” or “We’ve all gone through it”. Always advise them to consult a therapist.

None of us are pros at dealing with life. Do what’s best for you, smartly.

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Posted on in Channelize Your Thoughts

People don’t change. They just buy time.

As many chances as you tend to give a person, it is quite clear that you’re being hopeful of the inevitable. Change is constant and nothing can turn that around. But basic and primary habits or thought processes of an individual will always be a part of his/her personality. There’s nothing you can do to change that.

People don’t change. They might alter their patterns to suit you but complete change in a person is impossible and only fools oneself into believing that it’s the only way to survive.

In all honesty, how do you expect someone to completely turn around their life experiences that moulded them in a certain way to miraculously just change for your good? Would you really do the same?

A 360 degree turn for another is a trial that is sure to expire. It’s unhealthy and delays the lessons you need to learn or go through in life.

So the next time someone promises you that they’re going to change and become exactly what you want or you find yourself expecting a fish to climb a mountain, realize that either they are buying more time with no concrete assurance or you’re doing whatever you can to be utterly hopeful.

Change is inevitable, yes. But this change is a part of your evolution and growth. It shapes the person you’re ought to become in the long run. It is a healthy journey.

So it’s better to grow in life and not significantly change to suit another because firstly, it is impossible and even if it happens, don’t be fooled into the trial period that sooner or later reaches an outburst. And secondly, you’re selling away your precious time.

People don’t change. They just buy time. Let alignments do its wonders!

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Posted on in Channelize Your Thoughts

The ‘more than the normal’ realization

Life is truly a book of wisdom that you take in one step at a time. It doesn’t come with instructions but surely gives you a chance to explore yourself and return back to its guidelines. By guidelines I mean what you should ideally go through but arrogantly refuse when you want to explore the variations in front of you. In this constant exposure to varying versions of yourself, you will always stumble upon this one rule; a realization of sorts.

I call it the ‘more than the normal’ realization.

We all have a basic sense of what is normal. Very often we alter our sense of normalcy to adjust to things or people around us. Surely a good deal to adapt to life as you grow in its depth. But keeping in mind the basic idea of normal, always notice actions, behaviours, patterns and gestures that are ‘more than the normal’.

Do you come across an incessantly crying baby in the hallway? Do you experience anxiety issues with an overly hyper person? Do you see excessive anger and rage blurting out of a normal request? Sometimes, you might even find yourself stuck in a maze of adjusting way too much to other situations or opinions. In all, you might experience the more than the normal realization. In that, whatever you face with someone that is more than the normal or more than the basic amount of worry, rage, sadness or joy, is rather a mere realization that it has nothing to do with you.

Once you attain this realization, the next would be taking a slight step back to understand how secure you are in your own shoes. Do you feel the need to react? Do you think that you are actually the cause of that behaviour? Can you help? Choose a sensible approach towards the situation but most importantly, be secure in your standing of not getting carried away.

Try the more than the normal realization concept. It will not only save a lot of your time and energy but will also pose as a healthy way to let things go easily.

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