Tag: innerthoughts

Posted on in Quoting Carma, Uncategorized

Lessons by Carma- 2021

2021 helped us master the skills of resilience, perseverance and sustainability. Trying to assemble these skills might have been the need of the hour considering the new norm of the pandemic, but it has definitely contributed to the art of survival.

When you look back, you would remember those that greatly contributed to your well-being. Let us also take a look at the lessons that you might have skipped or left unnoticed.

Lessons by Carma

#1 Overreaction= rejection of your initial gut feeling

Consider an incident in which you might have overreacted. Now, think deeply, was it really necessary? We often tend to ignore the first gut feeling that comes to our minds. Self-esteem issues, need for assurance, wanting to be liked, all these might account to a few reasons that make you deny your instant gut feeling. When you look back, you will realize that most of the time your gut feeling was always right.

Your overreaction was a product of you conflicting your gut, trying to prove a contradicting point or trying to sugar-coat the obvious. This leads to extreme dissatisfaction and may affect your overall well-being. We often tend to fight our gut to paint a positive picture instead of seeing the bigger picture.

You knew things would turn out a certain way, yet…

Well, you should take pride in the fact that you tried. Time will show you how. When you look back, always keep in mind the ones who took out the time to understand you and those who called you crazy.

#2 No guidance = hidden self-guide

When people refuse to help you, guide you or direct you, take it positively. This extreme disregard for your requests to help you out might have nothing to do with you. Never take it personally. There are a billion ways to receive help. You just need to figure out the best way. Many people refrain from helping you because they don’t want to equip you with the right techniques. They fear that you would do much better because you CAN.

Always keep an eye for those who did help you or spent a minute of their busy schedule on you. They’re the ones who are secure in their life and wish the best for you till you discover your hidden self-guide.

#3 Let time entertain you but don’t be quick to judge

Never be quick to judge someone. Let people show you who they truly are, but at their expense. You shouldn’t waste a second of your precious time to figure out anyone else’s actions. Let their actions fumble so you’re sure about your opinions. Most of the time, when you refrain from judgement, you are freer. Don’t pay much heed to negativity and also give them the benefit of the doubt. You never know what value a person could add to your life even if they were mistakes that they made. 

As Carma says, “people are not all that cruel and complicated. It’s just a matter of circumstances.”

#4 Never hold on to betrayers

What would you even expect if you did? If you take betrayal seriously, that’s great. It implies that you have standards and there are specific reasons why you choose people or situations to invest yourself into. Those who betray you don’t have the power to face you. They cannot handle the enormity of you.

You’re aiming higher because that’s where you belong, don’t stoop down for those who can’t see your worth. Betrayal is unforgivable and an eye-opener at the same time. Take the latter in stride and move towards loyalty. Oh! It exists.

#5 Start playing mind games with yourself

Trick your mind into believing what you want to manifest. Your mind is the most important part of your body. It’s the director of your life. Feed it with health and positivity, that’s how you will eventually develop a powerful persona and a true sense of self.

To conclude, every New Year brings a collective new beginning. True beginnings start from within, each and every day. Make the most of the things that happen in your life. If you’re able to positively believe that a rejection is a redirection, you’re a winner!

Write your own story. Do your thing.

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Posted on in Channelize Your Thoughts

Beauty- a subjective perspective

“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.” As accurate as it sounds, it is still very subjective in its own way. Beauty is something that is termed differently for different people and can generate different images of self and others too. In all honesty, your perspective towards it is key. It is the “perception of beauty” that lies in the eyes of the beholder. The way you look at things is what defines you and the way YOU define beauty!

A lot has evolved over the years in terms of self-image, body image, self-esteem, perspectives and duplications of what was meant to be. So is the case with beauty. Beauty is now determined by purchasing expensive products, alterations of self to align with certain sizes and a major chunk is to do with social media. How others interpret themselves is now becoming a definition for our own selves. The need for approval, validation and acceptance has been based on how many “likes” or “comments” you get on your social status or on your extravagant picture you chose from a billion of other selfies that you clicked; each of which is beautiful but got rejected keeping in mind a “certain mentality of perfection”.

The term “role model” came up for varied reasons mainly drawn to focus one’s attention on a goal and how the best in that field could inspire you in some way or the other. But today, the word has lost its meaning and celebrities are being idolized based on their beauty and not for their talent, spirit, courage or any intrinsic motive to make a difference to the world. It seems as though beauty has lost its meaning to glamour and appearance. Everyone is in a race to be better than the best; where creativity is lost and talent has no meaning. It’s almost like a world of online imprisonment that tortures you mentally and transforms you physically, to “fit in”.

In a world where technology has reached new heights, plastic surgeries have also transformed people into exactly the shape they want to look like. Debated arguments suggest that it’s “OK” to want to look better if a person has a defect and would like to change a particular feature that bothers them so much. After doing so, they do experience a new sense of self-esteem, confidence and satisfaction and they tend to be happy and view themselves differently than others. But the problem arises when it becomes an obsession- to look better than the previous surgery, to have a perfect face cut or to be curvier or bustier.

Beauty does come in all shapes and sizes. But what really matters is your acceptance of it, rather than people’s perspectives on how you should view your own self. Beauty has evolved over the years where earlier, importance was given to nature in its purest form. Its modification has led to a commercialized world wanting the original one back!

I guess that’s the irony of life; wanting better versions of yourself but getting so lost in it that you want the simplicity back.

Even the simplest of things now take you aback like a baby’s giggle in your arms, taking a morning walk to welcome the sunrise, giving food to the needy or the feeling of belongingness when your pet dog runs towards you after a tiring day at work. Beauty lies in simple things, in simple deeds that can be felt and sometimes, shared.

During your growing years, the mirror becomes your best friend and ‘the perfect’ face becomes your biggest obsession. Times when you sit and cry to yourself for having a set-back will only give you a crying face in return. But if you try smiling at the mirror, that’s exactly what you get back; a smiling image of YOU, of hope, of beauty. And suddenly things start to fall in place.

Time wasted in front of the mirror trying to better what’s perfect in its natural self is then used to better one’s deeds in going out into the world and making a change and in sharing the feeling of beauty that you tend to experience in the course of time.

 Everyone has a different story to tell and so does beauty!

Beauty lies in the innocence, the acceptance, and the realizations. Beauty lies in the feeling, in loving and being loved. Beauty lies in YOU!

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Posted on in Channelize Your Thoughts

How to be successful in life? – Channelize your Empowerment, this Women’s Day!

It’s 2021 and women are far more empowered now as compared to a few decades ago. Women have not only made their place in society but have also managed to become successful and empowering leaders for generations to come. Although there’s still a lot more to achieve, we are marching towards a society of independent women who have learnt to free themselves from the web of norms and expectations that are usually not self-created.

This Women’s Day, let’s take advantage of the empowerment that we’re surrounded with. To recognize the importance of it, we need to understand that we’re just a few steps away from being successful in life and to achieve this, we need to channelize our empowerment.

Here are a few steps to be successful in life :

  1. Learn to wait for your big picture.

Very often you tend to get impatient to achieve your goals. In that, you might even give up several times if you don’t see any outcome. Always remember that not every little thing you do requires a successful outcome. Sometimes, you need to build a whole lot, consistently, in order to achieve a really successful output. Learn to appreciate the process of your journey!

2. Start creating better goals.

The goals we create might be based on certain thought processes. Don’t be rigid in going all out. Seek more, think more, find out more and discuss more. Open your mind to the possibility of new ideas and better implementations. Once you broaden your mindset, you create room for better goals that could bring you success and lasting consequences.

3. Build your expertise.

If you are good at something, don’t just stop there. Channelize it in some way or the other and be consistent about it. Build a whole strategy to enhance your expertise and follow it. Take extra classes, read more, study more, plan more and work on implementation along with your forte.

4. Build a healthy mindset

You should not only be mentally strong to be successful in life but also have a growth mindset. If you have such a mindset, you can change, grow, evolve and learn through your efforts. People who believe that they are capable of growth are actually the ones who make a difference. They believe in their efforts and learn new skills to improve themselves, instead of remaining stuck. They look at failures as a redirection or a good learning experience for something better to come their way. In this, lies strength and complete control over your life.

5. Give importance to your EI

Emotional Intelligence or EI is one factor that requires utmost attention. It refers to the ability to understand, utilize and reason with emotions. It is important to identify what you’re feeling and address them accordingly. When in doubt, always take a step back and review things with an impartial eye. Those who are emotionally intelligent are aware of their emotions and understand them better. They also tend to understand the emotions of those around them. Keeping this in mind, you can understand where you stand and where to direct your goals in order to be successful.

6. Stop entertaining roadblocks.

When you have a bad day, take some time off and don’t waste time in dwelling on it any further. These roadblocks are only in your head. It is normal for recurring thoughts or fears to exist but don’t let them rule your life and hamper your productivity.

7. Refrain from constantly seeking validation and appreciation.

When you do anything in life, always ask yourself if it makes you happy and proud. Stop trying to make others the judge of that. If you really can’t decide for yourself then how do you expect another human to do the same for you? Learn to appreciate the little accomplishments that you have made in life and don’t place your worth in someone else’s hands. If you do get appreciated, cherish it as an added bonus to your journey.

8. Be financially independent, come what may!

Always be aware and well-updated about your finances. In case you’re not sure about how to invest or where to invest, educate yourself on this topic instead of being dependent on anyone for it. It is important to be financially literate instead of placing your hard earned money in the hands of others.

9. Live your own journey, even if it means doing it alone!

Steer clear from competitiveness. Stop trying to compete with others who have entirely different backgrounds, journeys and life experiences. Respect them and respect yourself enough to not mark yourself on the same lines as another in order to be successful. Your competition should always be with your own self. “Have I performed better than the previous year?”, “I didn’t take that well the last time but now I’m learning”. If you have such thoughts, you will not only work on yourself but also better your chances of being successful in life.

10. Be comfortable with uncertainty and not fearful of what’s yet to come.

To be successful, you have to embrace whatever life throws at you! You cannot shy away and take the easy road. Standing strong in your position and beliefs is a powerful virtue. Life is never certain but being constantly fearful will not get you any success. You cannot always be cautious of what’s yet to come. You have to be able to adapt and step up your game each time there’s a change in the plot.

Always live your own journey instead of constantly worrying about another’s success. While doing so, you might often find yourself to be alone but you never know, that might just be your last step to achieving the success you’ve always wanted!

You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do!

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Posted on in Quoting Carma

Forgive and Forget- a concept that has no meaning if you’ve not tried Acceptance!

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You often stumble upon the phrase, ‘Forgive and Forget’. But in all honesty, should you? This phrase, commonly used, has utmost importance in a person’s life but is very often told to you by a third person rather than the offender.

Someone who is concerned about you would ask you to forgive another for your own mental peace and not literally go out there and declare it. Sometimes, you might receive an apology to sustain previous bonds. But is it really possible?

I believe that unless and until you don’t consider the concept of acceptance, you can never be at peace with anything. Acceptance of the situation, acceptance in the fact that what you thought should happen, didn’t. Acceptance in being present in the moment and not in what the outcome of the situation might be. Acceptance in the fact that there’s no other side or psychology behind what was placed before your eyes.

Once you accept the situation you’ve been put into and the people in it, there’s barely any room meant for hate, revenge or any kind of negative animosity. There is nothing more empowering in gaining power over your actions and moving ahead in life with or without the presence of toxicity. This ideally helps you to live your life other than trying to artificially forgive and delete your memory- something that you can never do.

When you forgive and forget, you place a lot on the back burner, struggling to move ahead. But when you accept, you can then take control over the situation and your actions instead of negatively contemplating if the offense was even forgivable in the first place.

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Posted on in Quoting Carma

There is no limit to the truth. Truth itself becomes a limitation.

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We’re often placed with the complexities of our reality but fail to accept them. Sometimes we place situations into categories that best suit what our idea of the situation should be like.

As human as possible, we tend to alter our reality to fit what we tend to idealize. In that, expect layers and layers of blankets to cover up what is actually placed before our eyes. While doing so, we fail to address the main issue. What do we do when the layers are taken out?

There is no limit to the truth.

Dig deeper through the layers and find massive collections of untouched bothering, hidden dimensions of reality and accumulation of lies and dishonesty.

But the moment you get past it and trust me, one day you will, you will have no more to dig out, no more to search and no more excuses to give.

The truth itself becomes a limitation.

A limitation that gets you on your toes, fumbles your words and disheartens the soul. Once the carefully laid layers come off, seek no further and take with you that which meets the eye!

So, next time, instead of letting layers unfold a story that breaks ties, bonds and belief systems, try dealing with the rawness of reality, right at the start. Face the truth instead of waiting to unfold the layers laid in front of you. Not only would you be unprepared for its revelations, you will also get taken aback by the impact of its enormity.

Never let truth take a back seat. For often, it’s the only thing that could save the untold…

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Posted on in Emotions Speak

How do you talk to someone about your depressive episode?

Many a times you go through a depressive episode wherein you find yourself to be sad or upset about a situation for a prolonged period of time. It might affect your overall health, cause immense stress and altered behaviour patterns. So, what should you do in such situations? Should you talk to anyone about it?

The answer is, NO.

Yes, that’s right. Do not talk to just about anyone regarding your depressive episode. Do you really think that another human being, unqualified and going through the similar emotions or situations as you will be able to give you the perfect advice?

So what should you do?

  1. Consult a therapist/expert for your condition.

This is of prime importance! Experts are paid to listen to you, no matter how much you rant and go round the bush. They will not only listen to you but also make you realize what’s the right path and how you could change your negative patterns. The process is slow and gradual which touches the root cause of the problem and awakens something inside of you. Once you reach that point, you will realize that you are the ideal solution to your own problems.

2. Speak to your friends.

Talk to your friends about everything in life EXCEPT about your depression. If you do talk about your depressive episode, chances are they might absorb some of your negativity too and it might turn toxic instead of understanding. Divert your conversations to things you both like and engage in fun, outdoor activities. Sometimes, in the midst of nature, you might actually find your peace and home; a good relief from the weight you carry inside of you.

3. Pen down what you really think the problem is.

Most of the time you tend to get over dramatic about situations but when you actually write it down, you tend to rationalize the situation and eventually realize that it was a huge waste of time when you actually have so much more to do. So how do you find out about the things you need to do?

4. Always make a plan for the day and stick to it.

Have a plan every single day about when to exercise, when to watch a movie, when to meet a friend, when to have a night out, which book to read and what dish to cook on a Thursday night while you crave for the weekend to commence.

5. Exercise!

I cannot stress this enough but the main reason why your mind is occupied with depressive thoughts is because, you let it. Come out of this with meditative exercises. Go for a run, take that dance workout class and eat healthy at all costs. Clear your mind because that’s precisely where the toxicity lies.

And lastly,

6. Keep this phase of yours private.

Refrain from telling anybody about this depressive episode except a therapist. Chances are they will absorb it for the moment but not respect it at some point. They might start sharing similar experiences which might not help you get out of the web that your mind has created or they might simply use it against you, poke fun or talk about it and make a mess of your privacy other than respecting it.

Keep this phase of yours private. If you really want to talk about it then talk about it as an accepted part of your story. Narrate your story with pride once you have overcome the hardships. In that, lies strength and power over your situation, adding a beautiful touch of inspiration for those facing the same issues.

That’s when you realize that it was a much-needed part of your story. There is something so charming about how beautifully you accept reality!

Even after you have overcome your small battles, don’t blurt out advice to those struggling because they are probably in the early stages that you were in right at the start. And please, steer clear from phrases like, “Been there, done that” or “We’ve all gone through it”. Always advise them to consult a therapist.

None of us are pros at dealing with life. Do what’s best for you, smartly.

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